To the young girl who left her baby with a stranger at a Natomas bus stop (and a thought on sex ed)

I know there's probably no way you're reading this but on the off chance you are, thank you. Thank you for realizing that you may not be ready to be a mom. Thank you for choosing a young woman at a local bus stop who looked like she might care. You may have even seen her before and thought she was nice. Thank you for not leaving your baby in a dumpster or in your closet. You are a good mom because you did what was best for your baby. That's all a mom can do.

Now... why exactly did this girl leave her baby at the bus stop? We don't really know but I'll venture a guess... she didn't know any better. The paper and the news are falling all over themselves trying to condemn this young girl because we have a "safe haven" law. Seriously, if you know a kid between 12 and 18 ask them what you do if you have a baby you don't want to keep? I'd venture to guess not one of them will say 'Oh it's easy, you just take it to a fire station and nobody will ask any questions.' And even if they do know, they don't actually believe that nobody will ask them anything. Heck I don't even believe it after reading the brochure.

They don't know because it's not part of the class. I taught 8th grade sex ed for 2 years at a local middle school. We don't discuss the save haven law because you certainly wouldn't want to encourage teens to abandon their babies. It's kind of the same backwards theory about only teaching abstinence- if you tell them about sex, they might want to try it- so don't tell. Sure we have old drawings of body parts and how it works. Once, we even taught them how to put a condom on... until some parents had a fit and it had to be removed from the curriculum. We covered STDs but not pregnancy and certainly not what to do afterward.

So if the young girl is about 16... she was probably 14 or 15 when she got pregnant. She is probably a freshman in high school. So I'm venturing a guess that the sex ed curriculum she had was the same as I taught. She never knew about any safe haven law. If you've ever actually had a baby of your own, you know that those 24 hours after delivery are full of panic and apprehension, even in the most planned pregnancy situations.

She found her own safe haven.

Bear with me while I make a huge leap here. Recently I've been watching The Truth About Food on Discovery Health. Last night I watched an episode with what I call "The Raisin Test." If you restrict a certain food but leave it visible, children crave it to the point of actually pushing and shoving to get at it when it's allowed. Even if it's only raisins.

Sex to 16 year olds is raisins. If you forbid it, make it mysterious and magical, they will crave it and push and shove to get it. Are we doing our kids any favors by forbidding raisins? Are we doing them any favors by refusing to teach them actual scientific information about their bodies and allowing them opportunities to talk about the pressures they feel in life?

To the young girl in Natomas... I wouldn't turn myself in either.